OK, so maybe I’m stretching it a little by saying I have a miracle cure, but it can be a very powerful and yet simple technique. Many people choose to ignore and neglect a relationship problem, which causes significant distress for everyone concerned. The problem gets worse and festers with time.
Countless benefits, many of them unforseen at first, can come from taking steps to repair or improve a damaged or neglected relationship. If you go about it properly. How is so important. Let’s think big. Just imagine . . . wouldn’t you like for a miracle to happen which would solve your relationship problems? Yes, a miracle of your own making can happen if you think creatively, act boldly and take the right steps. Before it’s too late.
Begin by being honest with yourself about the relationship problem. You may say you don’t care about that person, but you do – deep down inside. And be honest with yourself about how important this relationship really is, although it may be easy to pretend otherwise.
You may have a relationship problem with an estranged family member, a long-lost friend, or a feuding neighbor but, chances are, solving that relationship problem will do you more good than letting it die a slow death or ignoring it into oblivion. Of course, a bad relationsip never goes away.
Maybe you’re trying to prove a point by ignoring someone. Maybe you’re angry. Maybe you’ve written someone off. But stop and think. Is that what you really want? And is it the right thing to do? Whether it’s a spouse who did something to infuriate you, an old business partner whom you blame for ruining a joint venture, or a high school friend for turning his back on you, maybe it’s time to forgive.
The Beauty and Brains of Forgiveness
Sometimes we simply need to ask for someone’s forgiveness. Fortunately, forgiveness works on a variety of levels simultaneously. It allows us to obliterate negative emotions that are harmful, and to get past old barriers. It does a world of good for the person we’ve offended. It can mend the most troubled or damaged relationships. It offers a win-win solution for everyone involved. It zaps our guilt.
It’s just part of life to make a few mistakes, and to have a few neglected relationships lying around. It can’t be helped. But these relationships can be improved, and the problems rectified, if we will just try.
Miracles may be unusual, but they do happen. There are many kinds of miracles, such as medical miracles, miracles of faith and relationship miracles. People can and do experience miracles in their most trying relationships, if they will only believe it can happen and do something about it. Perhaps a miracle can happen to end your relationship problem, and you can bring it about!
Sometimes all you have to do to fix the worst relationship problem is to get in touch with the person and have a heart-to-heart conversation. It can help to simply say you’re sorry, or give up the ghost and stop being mad.
Resolving a relationship problem
The biggest hurdle we face in resolving a relationship problem is often our own denial and procrastination. We tell ourselves that we don’t care, or it doesn’t matter. And we avoid every opportunity to deal with the problem. By not addressing a problem, all we are doing is demonstrating that we are angry or hurt, or that we don’t care enough to do anything about it.
You may have traded insults with someone, the last time you were with him, or you may have behaved pompously, coming across in a critical and uncaring fashion, and now you wish you had been more compassionate.
There Is No Better Time Than Now
So now you realize you sent the wrong message. Now is a perfect time to stop and rethink the situation. Almost all broken relationships can be saved, if we act swiftly and wisely. And that usually involves a willingness to be genuine, vulnerable, and to sincerely apologize for anything we may have done wrong.
Even if someone hurt you and you did nothing to deserve it, it may be best to take the first step toward reconciliation.
Maybe you’ve been waiting for him to make the first move, and to offer the peace pipe. Think about the anger and depression we experience. The time we waste in life because we are avoiding or are unwilling to talk to someone we care about. And all because something went wrong. Well, what’s wrong with talking it over and making things better? Is that really so hard to do?
Say you are sorry more than once. Take your share of the responsibility. And place no blame. Sometimes we let go of a relationship without meaning to. We get busy or distracted and it just happens. Or we throw it out if the other party fails to apologize first. That’s a familiar beast called pride.
Read: Decomplicate love
Well, who ever said that relationships would be easy?
Managing relationships is a constant task, and demands our attention.
Let’s say you are fishing for trout with your new bamboo fly rod. To be successful, you must always be mending the line, keeping it straight and taut, as the current takes it downstream. If the line is loose, twisted against a rock or in disarray, you won’t be able to detect a strike.
The bite of a trout on your fly can be but a subtle tap, and if you aren’t paying attention and keeping the line in good shape, you will miss the opportunity.
When an important relationship strays too far from shore – and they are all important in some way – it is time to reel it back in, but gently and compassionately. Easy does it, or you may break the line.
Also, you must be sure of your footing when you are in the rippling waters of a cold, mountain stream. Those rocks are slippery, and the water can move fast and be deep. So take your time and pay attention to details. Or you could fall.
Guidelines For Restoring Ignored Or Damaged Relationships
- Bring a clear and well-rested mind and body to the table. Be sure that you are centered emotionally and relaxed.
- Be willing to be quiet and listen when it is time for that.
- Avoid pressuring the person. That would only create tension and anxiety, and harm the relationship more.
- Give the person time to think, feel and react.
- Do not attempt to manipulate or control the person. Controlling relationships are ultimately unsatisfying and damaging.
- Stay positive no matter what happens. Keep control of your emotions. Even if the person may say something to hurt you, promise yourself that you will remain calm and composed. If it gets out of hand, end it and walk away politely. You will retain your self-respect and prevent the relationship from being damaged further.
- Don’t spend a lot of money on lavish gifts. Such behavior will not convey an attitude of affection, love or respect, and may put the receiving party in an unfair position.
- Say only what you mean and feel. Be honest and direct. Explain your thoughts and express your heart-felt concern. Do your best and let it go.
- Talk about the importance of the relationship and what it means to you. Offer a vision of a problem-solved relationship and show that you are willing to do your part in making things better.
- Trust that good will come out of your efforts. Believe that your relationship problem can be solved, and be willing to do whatever it takes.
It will take more than one visit or a single demonstration of your good intentions; it will be a process that will evolve over time. All good relationship castles are built the hard way – slowly and surely.